Situationships: The Budget-Friendly Scam of Modern Dating
The Rise of the ‘Situationship’ and Why People Refuse to Claim Titles
So, you’re out here vibing, sharing laughs, going on dates, swapping memes at 2 AM, and maybe even engaging in extracurricular activities—yet when someone dares to ask, “So, what are we?” the other person suddenly transforms into a politician dodging a scandal. “Oh, uh, we’re just having fun, you know? No need for labels.” Yeah, okay, bud.
Look, modern dating has gone off the rails, and ‘situationships’ are the new normal. No one wants to claim a title, no one wants responsibility, and everyone’s keeping one foot out the door just in case a shinier option strolls in. It’s like ordering the sampler platter at a restaurant—you don’t want to commit to a full meal because what if something better is on the menu?
Let’s unpack this mess, shall we?
What Even Is a Situationship?
A situationship is that weird, undefined gray area between “We’re just talking” and “We’re officially dating.” It’s exclusive enough that you’re not technically seeing other people (but let’s be real, you probably are), yet casual enough that one party can still claim they’re “single” when it benefits them. Essentially, it’s the romantic version of a timeshare—high maintenance, emotionally draining, and ultimately, a scam.
Statistics show that over 60% of millennials and Gen Z-ers have been in a situationship at some point, whether knowingly or after realizing months later that their “partner” had an entire lineup of people on deck. The dating pool isn't just a pool anymore—it’s the entire Atlantic Ocean, and everyone is too scared to pick one damn lane.
But why? Why is it so hard for people to just admit they’re in a relationship? Oh, I’ll tell you why.
The Fear of Commitment Epidemic
Somewhere along the way, commitment became the ultimate horror movie villain—something to be avoided at all costs. People will Netflix and chill five nights a week, text each other non-stop, go on vacations together, and even meet the parents—but God forbid you slap a title on it. Because once you do? Well, now there are expectations and accountability. And we can’t have that, can we?
According to a study by Pew Research, about 56% of single adults say they’re not actively looking for a relationship. And let’s be real, for a good chunk of them, it’s not because they’re too busy; it’s because they want all the benefits of a relationship without the responsibility of actually being in one. The ol’ “let’s keep this fun and casual” trick is just a way to avoid putting in real effort while still keeping someone around for convenience.
And the worst part? People in situationships will defend it to the death. “Oh, we don’t need labels. Labels ruin things.” Yeah, so does wasting someone’s time, but here we are.
The Roster Mentality – Dating Like It’s Fantasy Football
One of the biggest reasons people refuse to commit? Options. Thanks to dating apps, social media, and the general rise of FOMO (fear of missing out), nobody is just dating one person anymore. Nope. They’ve got a roster. A whole damn team.
You think you’re the starting player, but guess what? You’re just one of many being rotated in and out depending on availability, mood, and proximity. One week, you’re getting all the attention, the next, you’re getting hit with “Sorry, been super busy lately.” Spoiler alert: they’re not busy—they’re just entertaining someone else for the time being.
Statistics show that about 53% of people on dating apps are talking to multiple people at once, and roughly 45% of them have been ghosted after what seemed like a great connection. Why? Because in today’s dating world, people are always thinking, Could I do better?
So, How Do You Know If You’re Just an Option?
Let’s break it down:
They refuse to define the relationship. Every time you bring it up, they hit you with the “Why ruin a good thing?” speech.
Their texting patterns are inconsistent. One day, they’re blowing up your phone, the next, you don’t exist.
You never meet their friends or family. If they wanted you in their life long-term, you wouldn’t still be a secret.
They’re still “active” on dating apps. Oh, they’re just “bored” and “not looking for anything serious”? Yeah, okay.
You don’t make it to major holidays. If you’re not getting a Valentine’s Day, Thanksgiving, or Christmas invite, you’re just a seasonal rental.
They avoid serious conversations. If every talk about the future is met with a joke or a subject change, they’re just not that into you.
They make everything feel temporary. If plans always feel last-minute or uncertain, you’re probably a backup plan.
Sound familiar? Hate to break it to you, but you might just be part of the roster, my friend.
How to Break Free from a Situationship
If you’re realizing you’re stuck in this weird in-between phase, it’s time to reclaim your time and dignity. Here’s what you can do:
Communicate your expectations. If they can’t handle an honest conversation, they’re not worth your time.
Stop accepting bare minimum effort. You deserve someone who is excited to claim you.
Be willing to walk away. If they won’t commit, find someone who will.
Invest in yourself. The best revenge is leveling up and living your best life without them.
At the end of the day, if someone really wants you, they won’t make you question your place in their life. Don’t settle for being an option when you deserve to be the priority.
Final Thoughts – Get Out While You Can
Look, if you’re cool with casual dating and both parties are on the same page, power to you. But if you’re out here hoping for something real while your “partner” is treating you like a part-time job, it’s time to cut your losses and move on. Know your worth. You’re not a backup plan, and you sure as hell shouldn’t be an option while someone keeps looking for something better.
What’s your take? Have you ever been caught in a situationship, or are you the one keeping your options open? Sound off in the comments below!
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