The Double-Tap Dilemma: Why Men and Women Are Both Guilty of Unrealistic Standards
The Real War Between ‘Girl Next Door’ and ‘Insta Baddie’ Culture
Fellas, we need to have a talk. And I mean a real talk—no more of this ‘I love natural women’ nonsense while your thumbs are out here working overtime on every IG model that pops up on your feed. Y’all say you want the laid-back, effortless beauty, but when it comes time to hand out attention, it’s the ones with BBLs, lash extensions, and filter-maxed selfies getting the engagement. So, what’s the truth? Do you actually want a ‘natural’ woman, or do you just want a woman who looks like she could be natural but still magically has the curves and bone structure of an AI-generated baddie?
Because let’s be honest, the internet has completely fried your brain. You’re out here saying you want a girl-next-door type, but the only ‘girl next door’ you’re interested in is the one who just moved in after going viral for her thirst traps. So let’s break this all the way down. Who actually wins this war—the low-maintenance, real-deal woman, or the digitally enhanced, perfect-from-every-angle IG baddie? And more importantly, are men ready to admit they’re just out here lying to themselves?
The Great ‘Natural Woman’ Lie
Y’all ever notice how men love to romanticize the ‘natural woman’ while simultaneously setting standards that make it impossible for her to exist?
“I love a girl who doesn’t wear too much makeup.” But she better have flawless skin, perfectly shaped brows, and lips that look like they came straight out of an expensive lip kit.
“I don’t need a girl who spends hours getting ready.” But she better step out looking effortlessly bad, with hair that falls into place like a shampoo commercial.
“I just want someone real and low-maintenance.” But bro, when your girl rocks her fresh-out-of-bed look, suddenly she’s ‘not trying enough’ and you’re eyeing IG like a man dying of thirst.
Make it make sense.
Truth is, men don’t actually want a natural woman. They want a woman who looks natural, but still somehow meets every impossible standard created by social media. They want a girl who wakes up looking like she spent two hours contouring—but without the actual contour. They want the ‘cool, laid-back’ chick who doesn’t ‘try too hard’—but still looks like she’s straight out of a Sports Illustrated spread.
Meanwhile, the very models they’re out here simping over? Those women don’t wake up looking like that either. They have professional glam teams, high-end filters, and angles so sharp they could cut glass. But somehow, they get all the likes while the girl-next-door gets hit with, “You should try wearing a little makeup.”
The Instagram Effect: Why Your Standards Are All Screwed Up
Fellas, let’s be real: social media has completely fried your ability to appreciate actual beauty. You’ve been staring at so many retouched, hyper-filtered, and surgically-enhanced women that you’ve started expecting real-life women to look like that too.
Science even backs this up. A study in Personality and Individual Differences found that excessive exposure to idealized social media images makes men develop unrealistic beauty expectations. In simple terms, the more IG baddies you scroll through, the less attractive you find everyday women. That’s right—your daily double-tapping is literally rewiring your brain to the point where actual human women don’t seem as appealing.
You ever notice how men used to appreciate a wider range of beauty before Instagram? Back in the day, a guy could see a cute girl at the grocery store and think, “Damn, she’s beautiful.” Now? You see the same girl, but your brain has been so warped by perfect lighting and Facetune that you start thinking, “Ehh, she’s okay, but she doesn’t look like that one girl I follow.” And that one girl? She doesn’t even look like that in real life!
But you still fall for it. You still hit ‘like.’ You still thirst over the fantasy. And when your girlfriend—who actually exists in reality—doesn’t live up to the digital illusion, you start wondering if maybe you should ‘keep your options open.’
But Let’s Not Let the Ladies Off Easy Either…
Alright, ladies, don’t get too comfortable. We gotta talk about how y’all contribute to this mess too.
You say you want a ‘real man’ who isn’t superficial, who values personality and depth. But let’s not act like you don’t have your own version of thirst traps: guys with six-packs, square jawlines, and ‘effortlessly stylish’ looks that are just as curated as the IG models y’all roast men for liking. You roll your eyes at dudes who fall for the Instagram illusion, but you’re out here simping for Jason Momoa like he’s a ‘realistic’ man you’d casually bump into at Target.
And let’s talk about filters. Y’all are out here Facetuning your selfies into oblivion and then wondering why men have unrealistic expectations. You post a picture with lips plumped to cartoonish levels and a waist snatched by editing tools, but then complain that guys only go for the ‘fake’ girls. Which one is it?
Men aren’t the only ones guilty of chasing the fantasy. Women do it too—except instead of IG models, it’s Hollywood heartthrobs, gym bros, and millionaires with ‘dad bods’ (but only the Chris Hemsworth kind). So let’s all agree that maybe—just maybe—both sides need a reality check.
The Girl Next Door: A Lost Cause?
So where does that leave the ‘natural’ woman? Is she just out here fighting a losing battle? Is she supposed to start morphing into an Instagram baddie just to stay relevant?
The answer depends on whether men and women are actually willing to take off their rose-colored social media glasses and appreciate real beauty again. Not the filtered, curated, optimized-for-engagement kind. But the kind that actually exists when you roll over in bed and see your partner first thing in the morning. The kind that might not always be flawless, but is real—something none of those IG models or ‘perfect’ men can claim without an entire production team.
If we really want to break out of this cycle, we all gotta stop chasing illusions. That means men appreciating real women, and women valuing real men—not just the ones who fit some social media fantasy.
Or, we can all just keep pretending we want ‘real’ people while thirsting over our respective IG idols. Your choice, bud.
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