Well, hello there! I see you've stumbled upon this little gem of an article. You're either a man looking to avoid the dating scene like the plague or a woman trying to figure out why your last date ended with him ghosting you after he found out you don't like pineapple on pizza. Either way, you're in for a treat.

• Thou Shalt Not Have Any Hobbies

First things first, hobbies are a big no-no. Who needs personal interests or passions, right? I mean, who wants to date a man who has a life outside of work and Netflix? Sitting on the couch all day, every day, and staring at the wall is much more appealing. Because, let's face it, having hobbies means you're interesting, and who wants to be interesting?

• Thou Shalt Not Show Any Emotion

Emotions? What are those? As an undateable man, keeping your feelings locked up tighter than Fort Knox is crucial. Remember, real men don't cry, and they certainly don't express their feelings. It's much better to leave your date guessing what's going on in that head of yours. After all, the mystery is attractive, right?

• Thou Shalt Not Have Any Ambition

Ambition is overrated. Why aim for the stars when you can comfortably lie on the ground? As an undateable man, showing your lack of drive and ambition is important. Who needs goals when you can live in your parent's basement forever?

• Thou Shalt Not Be Respectful

Respect is for the weak. Why treat your date with kindness and consideration when you can be rude and dismissive? Remember, it's all about you. Your date's feelings and opinions don't matter.

• Thou Shalt Not Be Reliable

Reliability is for appliances, not for men. Make sure to cancel plans at the last minute, or don't show up at all. Keep them guessing; keep them waiting. It's all part of the game, isn't it?

• Thou Shalt Not Be Hygienic

Personal hygiene? What's that? As an undateable man, it's important to remember that showers are optional, and deodorant is for the weak. Let's not even get started on dental hygiene.

• Thou Shalt Not Be Independent

Why be independent when you can rely on everyone else for your needs? Let your date pay for dinner, your mom does your laundry, and your friends handle your responsibilities. Independence is overrated.

• Thou Shalt Not Communicate

Communication is the key to a successful relationship. But hey, we're aiming for undateable here, remember? So, keep those thoughts to yourself. Don't discuss your feelings, don't express your needs, and certainly don't listen to your date.

• Thou Shalt Not Be Honest

Honesty is such a drag. Why be truthful when you can weave a web of lies and deceit? Remember, the truth is for the weak. Keep your date on their toes with a constant stream of half-truths and outright lies.

• Thou Shalt Not Show Any Commitment

Commitment is the final nail in the coffin of undetectability. Why tie yourself down to one person when you can keep your options open? Remember, commitment is for the birds.

Final Thoughts

So, there you have it, folks. The Ten Commandments of the Undateable Man. Follow these, and you'll remain single and ready to mingle (or not) for the foreseeable future.

But let's pause for a moment. Are these traits really what you want to embody? Do you want to be the guy known for lacking ambition, respect, and hygiene? Do you want to be the guy who's unreliable, uncommunicative, and dishonest? Do you want to be the guy afraid of commitment, devoid of emotions, and dependent on others?

I mean, who wouldn't want to date a guy who has no hobbies, shows no emotions, and has no ambition, right? Who wouldn't want to date a guy who's disrespectful, unreliable, and unhygienic? Who wouldn't want to date a guy who's dependent, uncommunicative, and dishonest? Who wouldn't want to date a guy who's afraid of commitment?

I'm sure you're catching my drift here. These traits aren't just unattractive; they're downright repulsive. And while I wrote this article to be sarcastic-ish, the message is serious. If you embody these traits, it's time for a change, asshole; gotta grow up sometime.

Because, at the end of the day, everyone deserves love and happiness. Everyone deserves a relationship built on respect, trust, and mutual affection. Everyone deserves to be with someone reliable, communicative, and honest. Everyone deserves to be with someone independent, emotionally available, and committed.

So, if you're an undateable man, ask yourself this: Is this really who you want to be? Or do you want to be the kind of man loved, respected, and cherished by his partner?

And to the women reading this, ask yourself this: Are you settling for less than you deserve? Are you putting up with these traits in the man you're dating?

In the end, the choice is yours. You can choose to be undateable, or you can choose to be the kind of man who's worth dating. You can decide to settle for less, or you can choose to demand the respect and love you deserve.

So, what's it going to be? Are you going to continue being undateable, or are you going to make a change? Are you going to settle for less, or will you demand more?

The ball is in your court. What are you going to do with it?

Curtain Call

Before we wrap up this rollercoaster of an article, let's not forget the housekeeping. If you've enjoyed this tongue-in-cheek guide to being undateable, there's plenty more where that came from.

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And don't forget to catch up on our previous blog posts. We've got a treasure trove of articles that will make you laugh, cry, and maybe even rethink your dating strategies.

But wait, there's more! If you haven't already, make sure to check out our Whiskey'd & Uncensored podcast. We dive deep into the world of dating, relationships, and everything in between, all while enjoying a good glass of whiskey.

So, what are you waiting for? Follow us, catch up on our blog, and tune into our podcast. We promise you won't regret it. Well, unless you're aiming to stay undateable, that is.

Until next time, keep being you unless you're an undateable man, in which case, maybe consider making a few changes. Cheers!