The 80/20 Rule of Love: Are You Too Picky or Just Delusional?
Nobody is the Full Package—And That’s Perfectly Fine
Listen, I hate to break it to you, but if you're holding out for the mythical "perfect partner," you might as well start knitting sweaters for your future army of cats. We all want someone who checks every box, but let’s be real—there are too many damn boxes. Smart, funny, emotionally available, financially stable, great in bed, doesn’t have a weird thing for their mother, and, oh yeah, they gotta look like an Instagram model at all times? Right. Good luck with that, buddy.
This is where the 80/20 rule of dating comes in. It basically says if someone gives you 80% of what you want in a relationship, that’s a damn good deal. But instead of appreciating that solid 80%, a lot of people fixate on the missing 20%—you know, the small stuff that, in the grand scheme of life, doesn’t really matter. So, is settling inevitable? Let’s unpack that with a healthy dose of sarcasm and reality.
Expecting Perfection? You Might As Well Date a Robot
We live in a time where people have options—lots of options. Dating apps have turned relationships into a human buffet, where you can browse and reject like you’re swiping through pizza toppings. "Oh, this one’s great, but he listens to country music—hard pass."
People act like if they just keep swiping, they’ll eventually land on a person who is attractive, funny, emotionally mature, rich, kind, spontaneous but also reliable, and has abs that could grate cheese. You know, the type of person that doesn’t actually exist outside of a Chris Hemsworth movie.
Statistically speaking, studies have shown that people who hold out for "the perfect one" often end up single for way longer. A survey by eHarmony found that 64% of people who set "extremely high standards" in dating either end up alone or in a cycle of short-lived, disappointing relationships. But hey, if you enjoy reliving your 20s and explaining your favorite Netflix shows to a new person every six months, go for it.
The Grass Ain’t Always Greener, But People Love to Think It Is
Have you ever been in a solid relationship, but then started wondering, “Could I do better?” If you haven’t, congratulations—you are either a monk or a liar. The problem is, thanks to social media, people always assume there’s something better out there. You scroll through Instagram and see happy couples traveling the world together, posting lovey-dovey captions, and suddenly, you’re questioning your own relationship.
What you don’t see? The arguments they had right before those pictures. The passive-aggressive texts. The moments of pure "Why the hell did I pick this person?" that come standard with any long-term relationship.
In reality, research shows that people who leave long-term relationships chasing something "better" often regret it. A study by the Journal of Marriage and Family found that 62% of people who ended relationships hoping for an upgrade were either single or in a worse relationship two years later. But sure, keep swiping.
The 80% You Should Be Grateful For
Here’s a wild thought: instead of obsessing over the missing 20%, why not focus on the 80% you do have? If your partner is kind, loyal, makes you laugh, and doesn’t steal money from your wallet, that’s a win.
Do they sometimes chew too loudly? Sure. Do they leave the cap off the toothpaste? Maybe. Do they have an irrational love for reality TV? Yeah, but hey, nobody’s perfect. The truth is, every relationship involves some level of compromise. Expecting otherwise is like ordering a burger and complaining that it doesn’t come with lobster tail.
So, Are You Settling or Just Being a Realist?
Look, we all want to feel like we scored the best possible person, but at some point, you have to ask yourself—are you looking for a partner, or are you shopping for a human-shaped trophy? The difference between settling and being realistic is understanding that flaws are inevitable, but deal-breakers are personal.
You shouldn’t settle for someone who treats you like garbage, lacks basic emotional intelligence, or thinks pineapple belongs on pizza (kidding... kinda). But if you’re rejecting people over minor things, you might be setting yourself up for a lifetime of solo brunches.
So, will you always be settling? Yes. And that’s okay. Because everyone is. If you’re smart, you’ll settle for someone who makes you happy, instead of chasing a fantasy that doesn’t exist outside of rom-coms and your own unrealistic expectations.
Final Thoughts (And a Shameless Plug)
If this post made you laugh, cry, or question your Tinder strategy, do me a favor—drop a comment below with your thoughts. And hey, while you’re at it, throw a few bucks our way to keep these blogs running. Servers ain’t cheap, and neither is whiskey, my friends.
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